SpongeBob, Harry Potter, The Movie: Trailer!
by DrSB
Summary: Have you ever wanted to see the stars of your childhood in the same story? But the movie on SpongeBob at Hogwarts and his participation in the Great Magic War... does not exist! Or is it? Just for you: the trailers!
1. The Trailer

I found this thing in an old backup file on my computer ...

If you like, please let me know ...

I greet you so much ...

(Obviously I do not own the characters of Harry Potter or Spongebob... nor Pat... not the other ones... You know the owners already: the marine biologist Stephen Hillenburg, the tv network Nickelodeon, JK Rowling, the Warner Bros...)

* * *

"**SpongeBob - Harry Potter : The Movie**"..._!_

Remember the great finale of "_SpongeBob - The Movie_"? SpongeBob turned in a rock guitar wielding wizard and realized many magic, defeating Plankton, the villain of the story.

Well...

Forget every-thing!

* _SpongeBob_'s _big face smiling refills your screen _*

_(piercing voice) _This film is to-tal-ly new!

Just for you: the _trailer_!

* * *

(_Fairytale Music_)

Bikini Bottom, bottom of the sea.

SpongeBob: "Look ... a drowned owl!"

Pat: "A drowned owl in the sea! We could make it a song! Ha ah ah!"

SpongeBob: "Ha ha ha!"

Owl: "Bloob ... bloob ... bloobb ..."

* * *

SpongeBob: "Has he an envelope? He's a mail-owl!"

Pat: "But that envelope bears your name!"

SpongeBob: "Let's see... let's see... let's see... let's see... let's see...

School of Witchcraft and Wizardry... of Hooooooooooo-gwartssss..."

Pat: "And what does it say?"

SpongeBob: "Mmmmmmmm..."

"I cannot read it! It's written in Gothic!"

SpongeBob waves the sheet with eyes full of tears.

* * *

A few days later, at Hogwarts...

"Hello everyone!"

McGonagall: "A sponge?"

Snape: "A starfish?"

The two together: "What kind of students does the Ministry send?"

Minister of Magic (floating in his office before an angry god Neptune):

"Bloob bloob... bloob..."

* * *

And now, the scene that you all have been waiting for years:

… **Voldemort versus SpongeBob!**

Voldemort: "Dirty Mugblood ..."

SpongeBob (with a huge smile): "But I do not have it, the blood! Don't you know? I am a Porifera! Ahahah! "

* _Booming Music_ *

**Voldemort against SpongeBob_!_ The Epic Battle_!_**

* _Roll of drums_ *

Voldemort: "Crucio!"

The curse strikes SpongeBob in full ... and it does not do anything.

SpongeBob: "Hey, it's true! I don't have the nervous system! Oh oh oh oh..."

Voldemort: "All right! * _Grrrr_ * Imperius!"

SpongeBob (eyes wide open): "... Dunno?" (The Imperius curse gets lost vainly trying to find the brain of S. and after long agony dies).

Voldemort (roaring): "You asked for it, stupid sea creature... Avada Kevadra!"

SpongeBob (got hit by a green flash): "Aaaaaah! The Unforgivable Cuuuuuuuuuuuurse!"

Voldemort: "Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!"

SpongeBob (hysterical, shining green light): "Aaaaaaaah! The spell that kills and neeveer faaaiiiIIIIIIiiillls..."

(he continues to sparkling green from all sides while writhing horribly, putting his foot in his mouth and a finger in the nose and doing two somersaults).

Voldemort: "Ah, ah, ah, … ah... ah..."

SpongeBob (more and more writhing): "AH! EH! IH! OH! UH!"

Voldemort: "… Ah… ah…"

SpongeBob: "AAAAAAHHHHH..." (stops shaking and closes his eyes)

Voldemort: "..."

SpongeBob (standing up suddenly, with a broad smile wide wide): "Do it again?"

* _Drum Roll_ *

**_Voldemort vs. SpongeBob! The Final Battle!_**

_Coming soon to all the screens!_

* * *

Next trailer: "_Dementors at Bikini Bottoms!_"

Coming soon to all your screens!

That's all folks!

* * *

(Original story by Ghunzatrox, Signore Dell'Ato Scuro).


	2. Trailer 2: A Dementor at Bikini Bottom

Second trailer:

"**A Dementor at Bikini Bottom**"

_Excerpts from interviews _

_(from Comingsoon)  
_

The director: "The scene that costed us more work was undoubtedly Spongebob's clash with the Dementor..."

"**SpongeBob and the Dementor!**" _Yep!_

* _Ooominoous Muusiic_… *

Dementor (approaching ominooously): * _woooosh_ ... *

SpongeBob, Patrick: "Aaaaaah!"

Dementor (approaching): * _woooosh_ ... *

SpongeBob, Patrick (terrified, they hug and cry): "Aaaaaah! Want kiss! Iiiiiiiih! That's disgusting! "

Dementor (closer) * _freezing… cold... cold..._ *

SpongeBob (perplexed): "Wait a minute, Mr. Dementor! Here we are underwater! With all this cold why does not freeze?"

Dementor: "..." * _grind_ *

Immediately a cubic block of ice imprisons the Dementor that squirts towards the surface.

Patrick: "Now I understand why the Dementors don't live underwater!"

The End_!_

Coming soon to all your screens!

* * *

_Next Trailer_

"**Obsessions of a ****Dark Wizard**"


	3. Trailer 3: Obsession of a Dark Wizard

**SpongeBoB - Harry Potter: The Movie!**

_Third Trailer!_

"_Obsession of a Bald Wizard_"

Hair.

No, NO!

The correct title is:

"**Obsession of a Dark Wizard**"

* * *

(From _Comingsoon_)

Director: "Behold, for as I see it, Voldemort is an obsessed man!

His obsession with SpongeBoB will eventually overwhelm everything else of his personality..."

* * *

Voldemort (on top of a very high peak): "Curse to you, SpongeBoB! Bwaaaaaargh! "

* _Ominous_ _Lightning _*

Harry Potter (at a distance): "What about me? Do I not matter anymore?"

Ron, Hermione: "NO!"

* * *

On top of a tower... the wind howls and the sky is crossed by black clouds…

Darkness…

The final duel... yes, again... the conclusive conclusion is to conclude...

Voldemort: "And now... miserable, annoying Porifera... You. Will. Die.

And without you to defend it, the secret recipe of the Krabby Patty will be mine!

Mine! MINE! Ah, ah, ah, ah! " (_booming echo with laughter_).

SpongeBoB: "Uh? Also you are interested in the recipe of the Krappy Patty?"

Voldemort: "Ah, ah ah! _Also_, you said? Look at me!"

(Voldemort expands his black coat in a melodramatic gesture)

"Ah, ah, ah, ah! Now you will see! BWAAH HA HA HA HA! "

The... Revelation.

_(Not so much. Both are bald, noseless and evilly ambitious). _

_...  
_

The head of Voldemort opens with a creak...

* _Creeeeeeak_ *

... and inside the skull there is a control room, and the driver is…

...

Plankton.

SpongeBoB: "… You?"

Plankton (triumphantly): "Yeeeesss! **I** **!** "(on a lower note)" I! Always been ME! This whole thing of the magic world was a farce devised by me to draw you into this trap and revenge! Ah ah ah ha ha! Ah ah ah ah ah! Ah ah ah ah ah! "

(_Image: a map with the plan, arrows and pinpoints_).

SpongeBoB (wet eyes): "And now, who explains it to the Malfoys?"

* * *

Is this the end for SpongeBoB?

Or our brave invertebrate is going to make it, as he always did?

_Coming soon to all your screens!_

That's all folks!

* * *

Author:

Ghunzatrox, Signore Dell'Ato Scuro!

(Ghunzatrox, Lord of the... Ehr... Side)


End file.
